Tough Work/Family Decisions

Tough Work/Family DecisionsBy: Ken Canfield

Should you take that big promotion even if it means more travel? Should you change careers?A dad named Tim recently asked us for advice on some big decisions related to his career and how it impacts his ability to be a father.

Well, Tim, here's a decision-making system I recommend, and it'll work even for your daily work/family decisions.

First, you can try the time-tested method of listing pros and cons related to the decision. What are the benefits of changing jobs?" "What are the liabilities of working late?" Put them all in a list. Get your wife's input as well.

Next, come to a clear understanding of your hopes, your dreams, your desires-not for your job-but for your family. Which comes first?

Then, I'd suggest going to another father-perhaps a mentor-who can offer his own practical insight.

Ultimately, tough decisions related to your family will mean committing yourself to your hopes and desires for your family. And, you should know, commitment always involves some sacrifice.

Now, committing more of yourself to your children may mean a pay cut or giving up opportunities in the business world. Still, that commitment always seems pretty smart to me. I talk to a ton of retirement-age men who'd give anything to go back and make different choices when it comes to spending time and energy at work as opposed to investing themselves in their families.

Committing to our jobs first is often easier to do. That's because the job description is more clear, we have more control, a paycheck makes us feel valued, and-let's face it-sometimes at home with our families, we feel like "excess baggage."

But I believe that's our culture's deception. Remember, our kids need us, even if they don't show it. Putting work first probably means we'll be giving up a lot of the satisfaction of being close to our children.Jobs will come and go, but we have limited opportunities to make memories with our children.

And Tim, remember, you're not alone. Many dads face the same tough decisions every day. I know you'll make the right choice.

Characteristics of Growing Dads

Characteristics of Growing Dads
By: Ken Canfield

Howard, who grew up without a father, is a 37-year-old father of five. He became a father in his teens and has struggled for years with the demands of raising five children, especially since he never had a male role model. Working two jobs, he was always too tired for his kids and made excuses instead of spending time with them. When Howard got into trouble for substance abuse, his rehabilitation program included a fathering class, where signs of a life change began to show.

His wife Rita said, "I've seen a lot of changes in Howard.... He's a different man." As Howard said, "It takes work. I'm trying to learn how to be more consistent with my kids. I just want to love them more."Randy also deserves a lot of credit. He had the courage to stand up in a group of men from his church and confess, "I'm struggling with my stepson, who I'm trying to love, but he just will not respond. It's brought tension to the whole family. I've done everything I can think of." He continued, "Will someone pray for me?" The men did, and Randy gained strength to keep trying.

A week later, he had a major breakthrough with his stepson.

These are growing fathers.James was approached by his young adult daughter about what she hadn't received from him growing up. She knew he cared for her, but she sensed that he was always too busy for her. She felt a gnawing lack of love and attention; something was still unresolved, she said.James' responded with, "You're right, honey, those things were missing. I'm sorry, and I want to make sure they're not missing now." That day was the start of a change in their relationship.These growing fathers took the initiative to restore and rebuild relationships with their children. Each of them has realized that fathering is an adventure in humility, where honesty and the support of others is as important as having the right answers. They are able to learn from mistakes and grow through the tough times.

GROWING FATHERS HAVE:

A Steadfast CommitmentHow do you assess your commitment to your children? Many times, it isn't so much what you're doing, but what you're not doing what you're willing to give up in order to gain in the eyes of your kids. Being a good father takes sacrifice.

Some of the best stories of fathering sacrifice come from extraordinary situations. Men have altered the course of their careers and their entire lives to take care of their special-needs children, children facing unusual physical or mental challenges. Those men should inspire us, but we should also recognize that all kids, to some extent, have special needs.You may have to make adjustments for the sake of your family, sacrificing job advancement, activities you enjoy, or even extra service in your community or church. As a committed dad, sometimes you have to sacrifice what is good for what is best.Maybe you stay up late to help your son with a speech that he's nervous about when you also have a presentation to give the next day. Or you give up your Saturday round of golf to go bicycle riding with your daughter.Committed dads recognize that difficult circumstances aren't an excuse to bow out on their responsibilities. Fathers father. Growing fathers find ways to be effective even in the face of adversity and discouragement.

It may seem like no one notices all you do, but the fruit of committed fathering a close bond with your children?is its own reward. And there are few satisfactions in life that can compare.A Long-Range PerspectiveGrowing dads know that their actions today have an impact on tomorrow. They see beyond the immediate temptations of recognition, power and achievement that the world offers and strive to succeed first with their families. Steven Covey's advice, "begin with the end in mind" has almost become a clich?, but it's an important concept for good fathers.

Fathering from a long-range perspective means that, when your son acts up at the dinner table, you don't simply assert your authority and threaten or punish him to get your way. That may be a quick-fix solution, meeting your immediate desire to restore order and quiet to your household, but you may ultimately be driving him toward bitterness.

If you are truly motivated to act in your child's best interest, you'll step back, consider the long-term effects on the relationship, and then act in a way that results in both you and your son winning. And you may still see fit to discipline the child; or you might decide that a good talk would better deal with the behavior problem and reinforce your relationship with him. However you handle it, the important thing is that your motivation is right, because you considered the long-range implications.Ten or twenty years from now, these daily battles aren't likely to be important to you, but your relationships with your children will matter, and realizing that can make a huge difference in how you father today.

Sources of Ongoing Encouragement and Equipping Your Children's Mother. The most valuable resource available to help you grow as a father is the mother of your children. Of all your "secret weapons," she's at the top of the list.You gain confidence when you have support from someone with the same goals and purpose. She provides another perspective on what your children need and reminds you of commitments you've made to them. You compare notes, get feedback on how you're doing, and gather the strength to love your kids through whatever struggles tomorrow may bring.

Fathering Education.

When men come together to learn about being better fathers, good things almost always happen. Besides the practical insights you may learn, it can be invigorating to see other men who share your desire to be there for your children?and some who share your struggles. You'll hear stories that move and inspire you; you'll meet people who change the way you look at fathering; you'll join a room full, church full, or stadium full of men who are committing to be the fathers that their children need.Other Resources. There are more quality resources available for today's fathers than our dads ever dreamed of: books, tapes, magazines, radio programs, feedback surveys, Internet sites, seminars, and ongoing training curricula. (Other pages of this issue of will point you to some of these resources.)

Accountability Partners.

When moms get together for coffee or talk on the phone, one of them will say, "Guess how I finally got Abbie to stop sucking her thumb," or, "You should have seen what that kid of mine did last Friday." They naturally relate experiences and share about their joys and struggles. They are swapping tips and telling each other, "Be encouraged; you're not alone." As men, we need to do the same.

There are men on your block, in your church, and at work who are growing in their fathering, just like you, and you'd benefit from meeting regularly with them. Some of them have kids who are hard to handle. Some have kids who strayed from the path they intended. When you bring up a recent problem with your daughter, one dad says, "Boy, I know how tough that is." He tells you how he handled it and what he'd do differently if it came up again. These men could have a dramatic impact on your fathering, and you may have some insights to share with them.They should also have permission to confront you about some destructive habit in your fathering. It's uncomfortable, but you know they're only looking out for you. And, with their continued concern and encouragement, you'll find motivation to make changes for the better.

A Willingness to Adjust

Our kids need us to be consistent?predictable in our moods and habits. At the same time, we need to adjust our behavior to the ever-changing demands that come with life-long fathering.

We need to be aware of our children's development as they move through various stages. Ask any father of a teenager if he has adjusted the way he relates to his child. We need to alter our approach according to each child's unique personality and life dreams. One child is embarrassed easily in public; another thrives on that attention. Each child is unique, and we need to adapt our fathering accordingly.

There are other good reasons to make adjustments. Maybe your father was emotionally distant, and you're just now learning about the deep satisfaction of connecting to your children emotionally. As you grow in this or other ways, that should show up in your fathering.

We also want to change when we recognize our own unhealthy behavior patterns like an explosive anger, avoiding conflict, or some overbearing personality trait. We need to take whatever steps are necessary to improve in those areas, for our kids' sake.We need to be consistent and rock solid as fathers, while leaving room for creativity, spontaneity and change.Humility precedes hope. Even "good dads" struggle to meet the many challenges of fathering. Some of us have made many mistakes, and we're trying to win back our children's trust.

Others have spent years frustrated with work schedules that have kept us apart from our children. Some had success early, but lost touch as our compliant son or daughter turned into a distant teenager.But there is always hope for growing dads. We trust that things will get better, not worse, and that prevailing optimism affects the way we think, talk, and live our lives. It restores our larger purpose and provides a sense of confidence and enthusiasm. There are no guarantees that everything will turn out fine, but the best predictor of the future is the present. What we do today will make a difference tomorrow, the next day, and the next.Each one of us must face our past and our shortcomings, and then step up to be the everyday heroes our children need.

ACTION POINTS

Read a book that addresses an area of personal development for you: communication, self-discipline, anger management, etc.

Develop long-range goals for your fathering. Write them down; verbalize them to someone; review them periodically.Talk with your spouse about each of your children's specific needs including what you'll need to discuss with each one in the next six months.

Commit yourself to a lifelong learning plan for your fathering.Buy breakfast or lunch for a dad or two with older kids. Ask them what they would do again, and what they'd do differently.Sit down with your family and write a mission statement where you define or reaffirm your important life values.Form or join a group of fathers who meet regularly to share encouragement, accountability, and fathering insight.

Tell your family, "I want to be a growing dad." Ask them for suggestions or ideas.?

If Jeremiah Wright is a Prophet, Isaiah Wasn't

If Jeremiah Wright is a Prophet, Isaiah Wasn't
By Dennis Prager
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Were the controversial comments made by the Rev. Jeremiah Wright "prophetic"? That is the claim made by a large number of black and white clergy, by the head of the United Church of Christ and by many other defenders of Rev. Wright.
As summarized by the religion editor of the Kansas City Star (March 29, 2008):
"Scholars and black clergy say Wright … simply reflects a heritage of prophetic preaching in the black church. Prophetic preaching 'is the trademark of the black church tradition, of which Jeremiah Wright is perhaps one of the most illustrious exemplars,' said Walter Earl Fluker of Morehouse College in Atlanta.
"'Black prophetic preaching emerges from black slavery,' said the Rev. Angela Sims, instructor of Christian ethics and black church studies at St. Paul School of Theology in Kansas City. 'Black prophetic preaching can be associated with Old Testament prophets, including Amos, Hosea, Jeremiah and Isaiah,' she said.
"'The African-American church has always had a prophetic role in black life in America,' said the Rev. Donald D. Ford I of Second Missionary Baptist Church of Grandview.
"'Wright fits in that tradition,' said Peter Paris, professor emeritus of Christian social ethics at Princeton Theological Seminary in New Jersey." The Chicago Tribune (March 28) reported that "Wright's preaching … is in the 'prophetic' tradition, one of many that have evolved in black pulpits. … 'Shocking words like 'God damn America' lie at the core of prophetic preaching,' said Rev. Bernard Richardson, dean of the chapel at Howard University."
In the Wisconsin State Journal, Bill Wineke, a columnist and ordained clergyman of the United Church of Christ (UCC) wrote:
"You see, you and I may look at the short clips of Wright sermons played almost endlessly on cable television and agree that they are filled with 'hate.' [Hillary] Clinton knows better. … She knows the tradition of prophetic preaching in the church. Every theologian I know who has actually attended Trinity United Church of Christ -- including Martin Marty, probably the most popular theologian in America today -- agrees Wright's sermons, taken in context, rest squarely in that tradition."
Wineke then goes on to relate how another UCC minister, from a generation ago, also spoke from the prophetic tradition:
"In Madison, the late Rev. Alfred W. Swan, minister of the First Congregational Church (now part of the UCC) from 1930 to 1965, was regularly denounced for his preaching. One Sunday in 1952, Swan mounted the pulpit to announce 'I am not a Communist, and I have no intention of being one.' That was after Swan had criticized the Korean War, urged the country to make peace with China and suggested that Russians were better off than they had been before the 1917 Revolution. Not surprisingly, Swan regularly faced calls for his dismissal."
The Rev. Anthony B. "Tony" Robinson wrote in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer (March 28), "After 9/11, Wright charged that 'America's chickens are coming home to roost' … he said 'God damn America.' … Sounds like what the Bible calls a prophet."
The Dallas Morning News (March 29) reported, "More than two dozen well-known black preachers and scholars, in Dallas for a long-planned conference, offered unequivocal support Friday for one of their number who was not there. … Several of the scholars and preachers spoke at a news conference. They said that Dr. Wright's sermons fit into a long-standing black tradition of prophetic preaching."
Warren Bolton, associate editor of Columbia's (S.C.) The State (March 26), compared the Rev. Wright with Jesus Christ.
The Rev. Marshall Hatch, pastor of New Mount Pilgrim Baptist Church in Chicago, wrote in the Austin Weekly News (March 26): "It is providential that this has come in the midst of Holy Week 2008, a season when we commemorate the crucifixion of Christ and the vindication of God for faithfulness to prophetic speech."
The Dallas Morning News (March 19) quoted the Rev. Tyrone Gordon, pastor at St. Luke Community United Methodist Church in Dallas, as saying: "One thing I said to the church on this past Sunday is that a lot of us are taking it personally because it is an attack on the whole black prophetic experience."
Now, what are some of the comments that are so widely deemed "prophetic?"
"We've bombed Hiroshima, we've bombed Nagasaki, we've nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon, and we never batted an eye."
"We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant. Because the stuff we have done overseas is now brought right back into our own front yards."
"America's chickens are coming home to roost. Violence begets violence. Hatred begets hatred and terrorism begets terrorism."
"The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing 'God Bless America'? No, no, no, not 'God Bless America,' 'God Damn America.'"
"The government lied about inventing the HIV virus as a means of genocide against people of color. The government lied."
As morally disturbing as the Rev. Wright's comments are, and as troubling as is the fact that the man favored to be the Democratic Party's candidate for president of the United States chose to stay in the reverend's church for 20 years, there is something even more disturbing in the widespread labeling of these comments as "prophetic."
It is one thing to have a broken moral compass as do the Rev. Wright and those many Americans of all colors who also see America as a force for evil; who also believe immoral American behavior caused the slaughter of 9/11; who similarly regard America as morally equivalent to its terrorist enemies; and who see Israel as the moral equivalent of those who seek to exterminate the Jewish state. But to distort the biblical prophets' values to mean the opposite of what they actually mean is arguably an even greater sin.
The essence of the real prophets was not that they said things that disturbed people; the moral essence of the prophets was their moral clarity. They knew the difference between good and evil. "Woe unto those who call good 'evil' and call evil 'good,'" said the Prophet Isaiah.
Those who cannot see the monumental moral gulf between America and the unspeakably evil jihadists America is fighting in Iraq and elsewhere are not prophets. Those who think Americans got what they deserved on 9/11 are not prophets. Those who think the Russian people were better off under Communism are not prophets. Those who think America developed AIDS and infected people of color with it are not prophets. Those who think America is more worthy of damnation than of blessing are not prophets. They are fools. Dennis Prager is a radio show host, contributing columnist for Townhall.com, and author of 4 books including Happiness Is a Serious Problem: A Human Nature Repair Manual.
Be the first to read Dennis Prager's column. Sign up today and receive Townhall.com delivered each morning to your inbox.

Thanks & Praise in Baghdad

Thanks and Praise
Thanks and Praise: I photographed men and women, both Christians and Muslims, placing a cross atop the St. John’s Church in Baghdad. They had taken the cross from storage and a man washed it before carrying it up to the dome.
A Muslim man had invited the American soldiers from “Chosen” Company 2-12 Infantry to the church, where I videotaped as Muslims and Christians worked and rejoiced at the reopening of St John’s, an occasion all viewed as a sign of hope.
The Iraqis asked me to convey a message of thanks to the American people. ” Thank you, thank you,” the people were saying. One man said, “Thank you for peace.” Another man, a Muslim, said “All the people, all the people in Iraq, Muslim and Christian, is brother.” The men and women were holding bells, and for the first time in memory freedom rang over the ravaged land between two rivers. (Videotape to follow.)

Here is a link to the photo:

http://www.michaelyon-online.com/wp/thanks-and-praise.htm

Movie Warning: The Golden Compass

Parents, please think twice before taking your kids to see this or letting them see this movie on their own. The central theme of this movie is about killing God:

http://snopes.com/politics/religion/compass.asp

Reviews:

http://familyactionorganization.wordpress.com/2007/10/26/an-atheists-narnia-knockoff-exclusive-ted-baehr-warns-against-golden-compass-film-that-trashes-god-faith/

Inspirational Story About A Little Boy With Some Unique Talets

Talent and a test of faith... What a combination:
http://www.sonnyradio.com/kylelograsso.html

Colorado Rockies_ Winners Without Winning The World Series

Even if they didn’t take the World Series… The Rockies are still a great team. Here are some articles on them:

http://www.breakpoint.org/listingarticle.asp?ID=7156

http://www.breakpoint.org/listingarticle.asp?ID=2469

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/nl/rockies/2006-05-30-rockies-cover_x.htm

http://www.getreligion.org/?p=1650

Britain's Got Talent Winner- Inspirational Story About A Cellphone Salesman

This is amazing and emotional…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oxTy7KIAaA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDB9zwlXrB8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwkVnyfdGYQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-Pv-0vpxSc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blwyFKn2aLk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGNIRy8A3NQ

From Brain Surgery Back to PGA TOUR

From Brain Surgery Back to PGA TOUR
By Associated Press - May 15, 2007

One week on the PGA TOUR was enough to remind Todd Demsey where he wants to be -- not only because of the perks and the prize money, but also because of the players he once called his peers.

Demsey walked past Tiger Woods on his way to sign his scorecard after the third round of the Wachovia Championship. They were teammates at the 1994 World Amateur Team Championship in France, where the United States won by 11 shots.

"It was good to catch up with him," Woods said. "He was one of the best putters."

As he stood on the steps of the Quail Hollow clubhouse, Phil Mickelson saw the 34-year-old Demsey and came over to bump fists. They played one year together at Arizona State. Mickelson won the NCAA title as a senior, Demsey won it the next year as a sophomore.

"Very talented golfer," Mickelson said.

Also playing that week was Justin Leonard, one of Demsey's teammates at the 1993 Walker Cup, where the United States set a record for the largest margin of victory (19-5) against a Great Britain & Ireland team that included Padraig Harrington.

"He had the best-looking swing of anyone," Leonard said. "He had a pretty sweet motion."

They all went on to win majors and play in the Ryder Cup.

Demsey had brain surgery twice to remove a tumor the size of a golf ball.

"It puts things in perspective," Demsey said. "I used to live and die on every shot. It's still my job. It's what I love to do. It's not quite as important to me as it was before all this. But I feel real lucky to be able to play golf for a living, especially
after back problems and a brain tumor. I have nothing to complain about."

Back injuries slowed his momentum out of college. The real jolt came five years ago when he missed the cut in half his starts on the Nationwide Tour while coping with constant pressure in his left sinus. An MRI revealed a large tumor going into his brain, requiring two operations to remove it.

A month ago, he found out the tumor had returned. All indications are that it is benign.

"I'll have to go in for radiation at some point," Demsey said. "It's a slow-growing tumor. It just needs to be managed."

He continues a slow road back to the PGA TOUR, where everyone figured he would be all along.
Demsey tied for 23rd at the Henrico County Open in Virginia, then decided it was too far to drive to the next Nationwide Tour stop in Arkansas. Instead, he stopped off in Charlotte, N.C., to try to qualify for the Wachovia Championship, and earned a spot in a playoff.

It was his first time on the PGA TOUR in 10 years.

His previous start came at the Las Vegas Invitational in 1997, his final event of his only year in the big leagues. Demsey was four shots off the lead until shooting 81 in the third round to miss the cut by one shot in the 90-hole event.

"I took this for granted," he said. "I didn't think it was that big of a deal. But after playing the Nationwide Tour, and being away from this, it was a reminder that this is where you want to be."

Through it all, Demsey never complained about why his career took such a hairpin turn. The back injuries were one thing. Demsey won't forget the voice mail his doctor left on his cell phone after the '02 season.

"He said there was a very large tumor behind my left sinus going to my brain," Demsey said. "That was tough to hear."

He got married 24 days before the first surgery in January 2003, and doctors had to go back in at the end of the year to remove the remaining 20 percent of the tumor. He still feels numbness in his face, although he doesn't think it affects his game. Next up is Cyberknife treatment, a powerful radiation that attacks tumors without having to cut open his skull for a third time.

Demsey doesn't look different from other golfers, at 6-foot-2 with a fluid swing. The only difference is when the temperatures dip below 65 degrees, and he pulls a ski cap over his head. It leads to some peculiar stares.

"I've got some titanium in my head, so my head still gets cold," he said. "People give me a hard time."

He doesn't take time to tell them his story, that he was one of those can't-miss kids who never anticipated brain surgery, and who refuses to give up his dream even as his peers are enjoying success he figured would belong to him.

He doesn't waste time wondering how his career might have turned out, if not for the brain tumor.

"I just have faith it's going to work out," he said. "I guess there's a chance it can still cause problems, but I feel like I'm in good hands."

Demsey now is back on the Nationwide Tour, playing this week in the BMW Charity Pro-Am in Greenville, S.C. He probably won't try another Monday qualifying on the PGA TOUR, preferring instead to concentrate on getting his card. He is 34th on the Nationwide money list, and the top 25 are exempt to the big leagues next year.

He used to see Mickelson quite a bit when they belonged to the same golf club in Scottsdale, Ariz. Mickelson has moved back to San Diego, but he still tries to keep in touch.

"He's a great player," Mickelson said. "His day will come."

Teenage Eating Disorders

Please take the time to read this. It is a problem in our society and it is not the fault of anyone else but us. Please pass this information to others who might be able to proactively affect this problem in their families.

A WEIGHTY ISSUE

A growing number of children, especially girls, fret about their body image. A poll conducted by Harris Interactive found that 17% of girls ages 8 and 9, and about a third of girls ages 10 to 12 perceived themselves as overweight. That compares with 16% and a fifth of boys, respectively, in the same age groups.

What are the causes? Some researchers and parents blame images in magazines and on TV, and even textbook drawings of girls that have become skinnier through the years. New research in the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics reports that adolescents who diet a lot are influenced most by two factors: media images and what their fathers think. Among those classified as "constant dieters," the number one factor was their father's concern about their thinness.

To Think About ...

Bruce has always made weight an issue with his three daughters. Though each of them has always had a healthy body ratio, from the time they were young Bruce would often caution them at mealtimes about their weight and talk about thinness as the ideal. He'd say that overweight women are ugly.

The girls responded differently to their dad's approach. The oldest was able to take it in stride and adjust in a healthy way. The other two became compulsive and anorexic. When the second daughter began seeing a young man regularly, Bruce warned her, "He wouldn't like you if you were even an ounce overweight." Since the young man gave her the attention and acceptance she longed for, she grew closer to him and eventually moved in with him--much to the disappointment of her father.

Since then, this daughter has continued to demonstrate desperate cries for acceptance--bouts with depression and even thoughts of suicide. But for now, her father has failed to make the connection between his obsession with thinness and his daughter's cry for help.

Dad, what role does your child's appearance or body image play in your perception of her and your consistency in showing her affection and appreciation?


ACTION POINTS for Committed Fathers

1. Have you ever criticized your wife or children about their weight? Discuss with another dad how this impacted them. Then, apologize to your wife or children, tell them you were wrong, and don't do it again.
2. Point out two unique and beautiful physical features about each of your family members. Make it clear that, even without those features, you'd still love them just as much.
3. This weekend, ride bikes, jog, swim and/or take a hike as a family.

Ken Canfield ©2001 National Center for Fathering

------------------------------------------

10 Things Parents Can Do to Help Prevent Eating Disorders

1. Consider your thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors toward your own body:

• Accept the genetic basis for the natural diversity of human body shapes and sizes, and

• Make an effort to maintain positive, healthy attitudes & behaviors. Children learn from the things you say and do!

2. Examine closely your dreams and goals for your children and other loved ones. Are you over-emphasizing beauty and body shape, particularly for girls?

• Avoid conveying an attitude which says in effect, "I will like you more if you lose weight, don't eat so much, look more like the slender models in ads, fit into smaller clothes, etc."

3. Learn about and discuss with your sons and daughters:

• The dangers of trying to alter one's body shape through dieting;

• The value of moderate exercising toward stamina and cardiovascular fitness; and

• The importance of eating a variety of foods in well-balanced meals consumed at least three times a day.

• Avoid dichotomizing foods into "good/safe/no-fat or low-fat vs. bad/dangerous/fattening".

• Be a good role model in regard to sensible eating, sensible exercise, and self-acceptance.

4. Make a commitment to exercise for the joy of feeling your body move and function effectively, not to purge fat from your body or compensate for calories eaten.

5. Make a commitment not to avoid activities (such as swimming, sunbathing, dancing) simply because they call attention to your weight and shape.

6. Practice taking people in general and women in particular seriously for what they say, feel, and do, not for how slender or "well put together" they appear.

7. Make a commitment to help children (both male and female) appreciate and resist the ways in which television, magazines, and other media distort the true diversity of human body types and imply that a slender body means power, excitement, and sexuality.

8. Make a commitment to educating boys about the various forms of weightism, and their responsibilities for preventing it.

9. Encourage your children to be active and to enjoy what their bodies can do and feel like. Do not limit their caloric intake unless a physician requests that you do this because of a medical problem.

10. Do whatever you can to promote self-respect of your daughters, nieces, and sisters in spiritual, intellectual, athletic, and social endeavors. Give boys and girls the same opportunities and encouragement.

© Linda Smolak, Ph.D. and Michael Levine, Ph.D. All rights reserved. This article was reprinted with permission. Please do not publish this article without direct consent from the author. Family First is not authorized to permit the reproduction of articles contributed to FamilyFirst.net by non-staff authors.

Why So Few Christian Patriots?

Why So Few Christian Patriots?
By Frank Pastore
Sunday, January 28, 2007

Send an email to Frank Pastore

Email It
Print It
Take Action

Read Article & Comments (136) Trackbacks Post Your Comments

With poll after poll revealing only half of those who self-identify as Christians voting, you’ve got to wonder why. Of all people, shouldn’t Christians know how precious and fragile this experiment in self-government is. Why is it that so many of them think “Christian Patriot” is an oxymoron? Perhaps they know not because they’ve been taught not. The hat worn by U.S. President Abraham Lincoln when he was assassinated at Ford's Theater in 1865, is displayed by the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, November 16, 2006. Over 150 well known objects from the Smithsonian National Museum of American History have been temporarily moved to the National Air and Space Museum while the American Museum history undergoes major renovations until 2008. REUTERS/Jason Reed (UNITED STATES) My own “political testimony” is a classic example… ––– A mutual friend had thought it a good idea to get me together with Dr. Larry Arnn, then the president of the Claremont Institute (today he’s the President of Hillsdale College). The idea was to brainstorm about doing some joint speaking events. I, the popular Christian apologist from Talbot School of Theology, would do the Christian thing. Dr. Arnn would do the conservative-political thing. The idea was to do some cross pollination: to get Christians to care about conservative politics, and to get conservatives to care about Christian theology. This was our first get-together–just the three of us over coffee. I started the conversation after the initial round of polite greetings. “Larry, I’m an evangelical Christian, and I really think we just need to help people–conservatives especially–understand that this was a Christian nation. The only real way to turn America around is to get the Church serious about walking with the Lord again. We’ve simply moved too far away from our Christian roots, that’s the whole problem.,” I said. “Frank, I’m a Christian too. But, if–as you believe–all the answers are in the New Testament teachings of Jesus, then why do you think it took eighteen centuries for there to be an America? Why would Christians want to create a new government when both the Lord and Romans teach that we are to obey whomever is in power, even tyrants? Furthermore, how would Christians know how to do such a thing? After all, Jesus never raised an army, levied a tax, guided a policy debate in a legislature, or administered a government,” he said with quiet confidence. I was stunned. I honestly had never considered any of these questions. “I’ve got no clue,” I confessed. For the next two hours, Dr. Arnn laid out the broad contours of an answer. I had never heard anything like it. It was the story of political philosophy, the story of Christianity, the story of Western Civilization, and the story of the American founding all rolled into one. He ranged with ease from Plato’s Republic to the Federalist Papers, with stops along the way at Jesus, Augustine, Aquinas, Machiavelli, Jefferson and others–all off the top of his head–often quoting from memory. Why have I never heard any of this? And if I haven’t heard it–and I’m a professor at a Christian college–I guarantee a whole lot of Christians haven’t either. You see, it isn’t that Americans have lost their Christian roots, it’s that Christians have lost their American roots. They don’t know that the American story, and the larger story of Western Civilization, is their story. No wonder they don’t vote. They don’t understand America was and is the greatest expression of Christian values in all of history. They don’t understand politics is theology applied–it’s how we live out our faith. Adequate answers to Dr. Arnn’s excellent questions range far beyond the scope of this limited column. But, for now, here’s a few humble suggestions to think about. It took so long for there to be an America because so many things had to get worked out. In the ancient world, all laws came from the local gods, and the ruler was therefore both king and priest. As Rome expanded, they would attempt to accommodate all of these local religions into their Pantheon. Rome paved the way for the later acceptance of monotheism. A universal empire made it easier for a universal religion. Yet, who should rule? The one, the few, or the many? It took many centuries for democracy to displace monarchy, aristocracy, and the divine right of kings. A king may be God’s man on earth, but what to do about succession? Only equals can trust one another with the responsibilities, duties, and privileges of democracy. Equality is the precondition for democracy. For why would you allow someone not your equal to have a vote as valuable as yours? But who are one’s equals? If no man is born with a saddle on his back, can there be such a thing as a natural slave? If all men have equal standing before God, then why does one own the labor of another? There would be a Civil War over this. Jesus’ radical “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s, and to God that which is God’s ” (Mt. 22:21) simply remade the world. It is the source of both the separation of church and state, private property, and the idea of limited government. No man should be both Caesar and High Priest, nor should the state have authority over the soul, the conscience, or the fruits of one’s labor. So much for trying to do Western Civ. in a few paragraphs. Let me just suggest that each element of this four-part calculus plays a critical role: Old Testament, New Testament, Declaration of Independence, and Constitution. Omit one, and the whole thing breaks down. Fail to understand each precedent, and the consequent hangs in mid air. You’ve got to know where you’ve been to know where you are. Perhaps I can ask you a question. Think of what it is conservatives are trying to conserve, what liberals are attempting to liberate from, and what progressives are striving to progress toward. Think of the utopias of each. Would you want to live in that society? If not, why not? What are you doing today to make sure that doesn’t happen? That’s politics. Someone’s vision of the future is being implemented today in the here and now. Whose will it be? That’s why you vote. American Christians have overcome more evil, promoted more good, and advanced more justice than any people in history. Every American ought to be indebted to the Judeo-Christian value system that is the foundation of our American superstructure. Every Christian, regardless of where they’re from, should admire this wondrous thing called America that has been the best political expression of our Lord’s teachings. Jesus may never have raised an army, levied a tax, guided a policy debate in a legislature, or administered a government. But He has raised us up to do these things in His name. May we be faithful to His high calling.

The Frank Pastore Show is heard in Los Angeles weekday afternoons on 99.5 KKLA and on the web at kkla.com, and is the winner of the 2006 National Religious Broadcasters Talk Show of the Year. Frank is a former major league pitcher with graduate degrees in both philosophy of religion and political philosophy.

Be the first to read Frank Pastore's column. Sign up today and receive Townhall.com delivered each morning to your inbox.

Mormonism & the Presidency

Mitt Romney, Mormonism and the Presidency of the United States
By Frank Pastore
Sunday, April 15, 2007

Send an email to Frank Pastore

Email It
Print It
Take Action

Read Article & Comments (131) Trackbacks Post Your Comments

The Romney candidacy put Mormonism into the American spotlight and has given us all op-portunity to clarify our convictions on our political system and the Mormon faith. The lines be-tween politics and religion are being questioned, pressing Americans to think through the rela-tionship between a candidate's value system and policies with those of their own political and re-ligious convictions. This is both proper and good. The issue, as I see it, is not about whether a Christian would or should vote for a Mormon. That's confusing categories. Every American should vote for whomever he or she chooses. That choice is usually for the candidate whose worldview and policy preferences most closely resemble one's own. Should Romney win the Republican nomination, I will vote for him because in our two-party political system-as it is currently aligned ideologically-my vote will almost certainly go to the Republican. The GOP aligns more closely with my conservative, evangelical policy prefer-ences than does the Democratic Party. The war against radical Islam, the protection of mar-riage, the right to life, limited government with smarter spending, and the make-up of the Su-preme Court are all matters of deep personal conviction. And, for these reasons, I'll vote for the Republican candidate, whoever that is. Presidential candidate and former Governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney (R-MA) (R) arrives at the George Bush Presidential Library Center at Texas A&M University with his wife Ann Romney (L) and former U.S. President George Bush in College Station, Texas April 10, 2007. REUTERS/Jessica Rinaldi (UNITED STATES) As many have said, "We're not electing a pastor, we're electing a president." Historically, our largely Christian country has chosen to elect Christian candidates (not that there have been many non-Christian candidates). In the last two presidential elections, church attendance was the most reliable indicator of voting preferences. It's no coincidence that the Democrats this time around are determined to appear more religious (i.e., more evangelical friendly) in order to win the White House. Yet, if appearing more religious in this majority-Christian nation is an electoral advantage, then being from a faith other than Christianity pre-sents a new set of challenges. And therein lies the problem for the Romney campaign. Though I could vote for Romney, my ballot should not be seen as an endorsement of Mor-monism. Conservative Mormons are among the finest people I've ever met, and they are critical allies in the culture war. I appreciate their contribution to advancing our shared values. Yet as we make common cause, I should not be asked or feel pressured to compromise, weaken, or di-lute my theology. Allies need not obfuscate distinctives. We can unite politically and socially to advance our cause, but we must not blur the lines between our distinct religions. Just as Christians and Jews, by definition, cannot ignore their differences over the resurrec-tion and the New Testament, so too Christians and Mormons cannot ignore the differences be-tween the Bible and the three books of Mormonism: the Book of Mormon, Doctrines and Cove-nants, and the Pearl of Great Price. Yet many Mormons in recent years have taken to calling themselves Christians, and a grow-ing number of Christians are willing to speak of Mormonism as something akin to another Chris-tian denomination. But, Mormonism is not a Christian denomination, nor is it merely "a non-Christian religion." To be theologically precise, though perhaps politically incorrect, Mormonism is a cult of Christianity (www.apologeticsindex.org/c09a01.html) – a group that claims to Chris-tian while denying one or more central doctrines of the Christian faith. The polytheism of Latter Day Saints is a striking contrast to the monotheism of the Bible. The Mormons also deny original sin (central to a Christian understanding of the human condition) and believe that Jesus was conceived through sexual intercourse between God the Father and Mary. I could go on, but Mormonism has far more that distinguishes it from the historic Christian faith than unites it to Christianity. So, though I am willing to unite with and befriend Mormons in common cause to advance our shared values, I am hoping to be a voice of clarity – unwilling to allow Mormonism to be mis-taken for orthodox Christianity and unwilling again to disqualify a candidate simply because he is from a faith tradition so different from my own. I'll vote for Romney if he wins the Republican nomination. And I will continue to contend for the historic Christian faith with the sharply-dressed Mormon missionaries who come to my door.

The Frank Pastore Show is heard in Los Angeles weekday afternoons on 99.5 KKLA and on the web at kkla.com, and is the winner of the 2006 National Religious Broadcasters Talk Show of the Year. Frank is a former major league pitcher with graduate degrees in both philosophy of religion and political philosophy.

Be the first to read Frank Pastore's column. Sign up today and receive Townhall.com delivered each morning to your inbox.

Keep Those Prayers Coming For Dale!

Here is the latest update on Dale... who is finally at home and recuperating from his bone marrow transplant. I am constantly amazed at how God is using Dale (and all of his illness) to minister to others whose hearts are aching to have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

BC

Day +51

We are about half way to day 100. I feel like it has taken forever to get to this point but we are grateful Dale continues to do well. We went to clinic at UCLA twice this week. The wbc and ANC have been stable. The ANC is around 4,000. The Hgb is still 9.6 . The plts are now 97,000. Dale has not needed another transfusion since his discharge from the hospital. Because the platelets have been over 50,000 for more than a week, Dale can now use a toothbrush to brush his teeth instead of the sponge toothettes and he can ride his bike as long as he wears a helmet. The liver enzymes have been about the same. The last AST - 60 ALT - 173 and total bili - 0.7. Since they added the Cellcept (another immunosupressant) the doctors have been slowly tapering his steroids (prednisone). His face and body are puffy from the prednisone so it will be good to get him off of it. The progress is slow but steady. Derek is now home all day because of spring break and follows Dale around the house. We are all happy to be on spring break. Have a great Easter Sunday. Thank you for your prayers. Grace and peace to you all....

Louie Giglio Video Sermons Online

Hi Friends:

This is a page with video sermons by Pastor Louie Giglio. He is one of the most insightful and inspirational ministers that I have ever heard.

Take a look at these videos and let me know your thoughts. I pray that it will ignite and turn up the Lord’s flame in you and inspire you all to be used by the Lord to spread His grace and mercy through your daily works… each and every day.

I especially was moved by the "Indescribable" sermon and the one called "Grace Works".

http://www.268generation.com/2.0/splash1.htm

Have a blessed weekend.

Your brother in Christ,

Brad

Prayers for Amy Ariyasu and her family

Please add Amy Aryasu and her family to your prayers. She has just found out about a blood disorder and we can all lift up this wonderful mother and her family in our prayers for healing and that they will all find their personal ministries through this test of their faith.

We praise you Lord when we win and we praise you when you test us and sometimes fail. We hand everything over to You Lord and ask that you quite our pride and use us to spread you love, mercy and grace. In your son's most glorious name Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

How To Forgive

How To Forgive

One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things were not right. He thought about those who had lied about him back when he had a job.

His thoughts turned to those who had stolen his things and cheated him.

He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness he had that no one could cure. His very soul was filled with anger, resentment and frustration.

Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find, knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree to seek the one he knew would always be there. And with tears in his eyes, he prayed:

"Lord- You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have told me to do many things for you, and I happily obeyed. Today, you have told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot. I don't know how.
It is not fair Lord. I didn't deserve these wrongs that were done against me and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as your way is Lord, this one thing I cannot do, for I don't know how to forgive. My anger is so deep Lord, I fear I may not hear you, but I pray that you teach me to do this one thing I cannot do - Teach me To Forgive."

As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt.

He could not turn to see what it was because where the oak tree had been was a large square piece of wood in the ground. He raised his head and saw two feet held to the wood with a large spike through them

He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a torn and battered body, deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw the suffering and pain on His precious face. As their eyes met, the man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak.

"Have you ever told a lie?" He asked?

The man answered - "yes, Lord."

"Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?"

The man answered - " yes. Lord." And the man sobbed more and more.

"Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?" Jesus asked?

And the man answered - "yes, Lord."

"Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain? "

The man, crying now, answered - "yes, Lord."

As Jesus asked many more times, "Have you ever"? The man's crying became uncontrollable, for he could only answer - "yes, Lord."

Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other, and the man felt something fall on his other shoulder. He looked and saw that it was the blood of Jesus. When he looked back up, his eyes met those of Jesus, and there was a look of love the man had never seen or known before.
Jesus said, "I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you."

It may be hard to see how you're going to get through something, but when you look back in life, you realize how true this statement is..

Read the following first line slowly and let it sink in.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

Lord I love You and I need You, come into my heart, today. For without You I can do nothing.

When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you!

Greg Laurie's Message About Contentment

The Key to Contentment

Now godliness with contentment is great gain.

— 1 Timothy 6:6

As you begin to know God's love and purpose for you, you can live a life that is unending—even overflowing. It is life as it was meant to be lived. This is exactly what David meant when he said, "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want" (Psalm 23:1).

Have you been able to say that? Have you been able to say, "Lord, if You want to give me more, fine. If you don't want to, fine. I shall not want, because I have found my contentment in You."

The apostle Paul found that contentment. He said he was content, regardless of his circumstances (see Philippians 4:11–12). But how many of us have thought, I would be content if I just had a little more money. . . . I would be content if I just got that promotion. . . . I would be content if I just got married. . . . We never quite reach that place of contentment, however. We are always looking for something just a little beyond what we have.

There are certain things that only God can give. And when you are in a relationship with Him in which you say, "The Lord is my Shepherd," you can say with David, "I shall not want."

In fact, only the person who has said, "The Lord is my Shepherd" can say, "I shall not want." Our contentment does not come from what we have. It comes from Whom we know. Hebrews 13:5 tells us, "Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' "

So when you get down to it, everything you need in life is found in a relationship with God.

Your Prayers Are Working For Dale!

Hi Friends:

Keep those prayers going because they are working. Dale came home for his first time since his bone marrow transplant surgery. If you would like to view Dale's daily progress please click here.

Please know that God is listening and wants our hearts in the right place... which means focusing on praising Him and worshipping Him (instead of worrying about our daily mundane and selfish needs). I pray that the Lord will use all of you in any way possible to spread His Love, Mercy & Grace (each and every day).

Your brother in Christ,

Brad

Monday, March 19, 2007

Day +31 and +32

Day + 31 - Labs wbc 2.84 ANC - 2087 Hgb - 8.8 Hct - 27.4 Plt - 36,000. The liver enzymes came down a little again. As long as the liver enzymes come back down even a little, the doctors are happy. The doctors had told us on Friday if the ANC remained above 1000 and his cyclosporine level on Saturday was therapeutic, then Dale could go home on Sunday 2/18. Well, it all fell into place so Sunday evening, Dale was discharged home!!! Last week Tuesday or Wednesday when they were starting to talk about a goal date to go home, Dale told me that he would be ready to go home on Sunday. I thought it was a long shot since everything had to turn out perfect for this to happen. I told him not to get his hopes up too high but he said Sunday would be the day and sure enough it was. He prayed every night and meditated after his prayers . He calls it "brightening his light" (something he learned from a friend at church) (the light refers to God's love) His faith in God remained strong through these past 6 weeks. He has a long ways to go but he is determined to get there. Dale , although home now is still in protective isolation for 100 days after the transplant. He has to wear a mask when he steps outside of the house. Danny and Derek both had caught a cold so they were at Grandma June's when Dale came home. He went straight to the sliding door where his dog, Eski usually sits. She looked at him and started barking. I guess she didn't recognize him with no hair. As soon as she heard Dale's voice ,she calmed down. He then went into his room and looked around. Danny and Derek eventually came home and Dale ran to greet them but keeping his distance for fear of catching their cold. If Dale develops a fever, we have to go back to UCLA. If he catches a cold, his counts could drop and it would be a set back for him. We have a new set of challenges but Dale slept peacefully in his own bed last night . I think we all slept well last night.
Day + 32 - What? No scrambled eggs and french toast for breakfast? Dale and I realized quickly this morning that breakfast would not be sitting on the table at 8:30 am. ( At UCLA, Dale's breakfast was brought in every morning at 8:30am) By the time Dale and I got up, Danny was gone, and Wade and Derek were almost out the door. We will have to get back into the early morning "rush around the house" routine again. The home health nurse visted today bringing supplies for his central line care. It is now my job to flush his lines with heparin and change the dressing everyday. I miss the nurses already. The nurses and staff at UCLA were really wonderful. We were very happy with everyone who took care of us. I have to say "us" because they took care of me too. Later in the day Dale took a break from his studies , put on a mask and sat outside on the bench on our porch. He said the chiily air was "refreshing". This evening we watched a couple of basketball games (recorded on DVD by one of the dads) that his team, the Pacers II, played a few weeks ago. He really enjoyed watching them play and win! At 10pm, he marched into the kitchen,took his 6 pills and went to bed. I think in one day Dale swallows 16 1/2 pills. I have trouble just taking my vitamins. We are so grateful Dale is home. Thank you all for helping Dale get through his hospital stay with your prayers and support. We ask for your continued prayers as he still faces a long journey ahead. God's Grace and Peace to you all.....

Work Stress and Marriage

Work Stress and Marriage
By: Ken Canfield

Stress is contagious. In this age of high expectations and long work hours, it's easy for a man to bring his worries and frustrations home and spread them all over the household.

A dad might treat his family like his boss treats him, which can be very destructive. Or some men might start resenting their family responsibilities, and expect to just relax on the sofa when they get home. Of course, that's an insult to wives, since they have stresses of their own after a day corralling the kids or working somewhere else.

What can we do?

First, recognize the value of "decompression time." Take some time in the car?or in your first few minutes home?to adjust your frame of mind. Exercise, read the newspaper, shower, change clothes. After a few minutes alone, you can shift gears and be ready for family time.

Second, keep communicating?even about the stresses you're facing. It's easy for a wife to feel like she's going through the stressful work situation with her husband. But if she is informed about your work situation and she believes in the value of the work you're doing, that will be a positive factor. Communicating will help both of you stay aware of the stresses, and can make you both more forgiving when one of you is in a bad mood.

Third, realize that sometimes bigger steps are necessary. If you're stressed out or blaming your family for your tension, or if there's a growing distance between you and your wife, it may be time to start thinking about a job change. Have a heart-to-heart about your true values and priorities.

Looking for a less stressful, more flexible position may cause more stress for a while, but you know you're doing it for the right reasons. Even if the new position pays less, that's an adjustment that most families can make. And isn't your marriage worth it?

You know, there are a lot of divorced men and fathers right now?still working in high-stress jobs?who regret not making changes sooner to try to save their families.

Dad, don't let a stressful job slowly erode the foundations of your marriage and family. Take steps to protect it, starting today.

Added: March 09, 2007 at 12:26 PM

Americans get an 'F' in religion

Americans get an 'F' in religion

By Cathy Lynn Grossman, USA TODAY

Sometimes dumb sounds cute: Sixty percent of Americans can't name five of the Ten Commandments, and 50% of high school seniors think Sodom and Gomorrah were married.

Stephen Prothero, chairman of the religion department at Boston University, isn't laughing. Americans' deep ignorance of world religions — their own, their neighbors' or the combatants in Iraq, Darfur or Kashmir — is dangerous, he says.

His new book, Religious Literacy: What Every American Needs to Know — and Doesn't, argues that everyone needs to grasp Bible basics, as well as the core beliefs, stories, symbols and heroes of other faiths.

Belief is not his business, says Prothero, who grew up Episcopalian and now says he's a spiritually "confused Christian." He says his argument is for empowered citizenship.

"More and more of our national and international questions are religiously inflected," he says, citing President Bush's speeches laden with biblical references and the furor when the first Muslim member of Congress chose to be sworn in with his right hand on Thomas Jefferson's Quran.

"If you think Sunni and Shia are the same because they're both Muslim, and you've been told Islam is about peace, you won't understand what's happening in Iraq. If you get into an argument about gay rights or capital punishment and someone claims to quote the Bible or the Quran, do you know it's so?

"If you want to be involved, you need to know what they're saying. We're doomed if we don't understand what motivates the beliefs and behaviors of the rest of the world. We can't outsource this to demagogues, pundits and preachers with a political agenda."

Scholars and theologians who agree with him say Americans' woeful level of religious illiteracy damages more than democracy.

"You're going to make assumptions about people out of ignorance, and they're going to make assumptions about you," says Philip Goff of the Center for the Study of Religion and American Culture at Indiana University in Indianapolis.

Goff cites a widely circulated claim on the Internet that the Quran foretold American intervention in the Middle East, based on a supposed passage "that simply isn't there. It's an entire argument for war based on religious ignorance."

"We're impoverished by ignorance," says the Rev. Joan Brown Campbell, former general secretary of the National Council of Churches. "You can't draw on the resources of faith if you only have an emotional understanding, not a sense of the texts and teachings."

But if people don't know Sodom and Gomorrah were two cities destroyed for their sinful ways, Campbell blames Sunday schools that "trivialized religious education. If we want people to have serious knowledge, we have to get serious about teaching our own faith."

Prothero's solution is to require middle-schoolers to take a course in world religions and high schoolers to take one on the Bible. Biblical knowledge also should be melded into history and literature courses where relevant. He wants all college undergrads to take at least one course in religious studies.

He calls for time-pressed adults to sample holy books and history texts. His book includes a 90-page dictionary of key words and concepts from Abraham to Zen. There's also a 15-question quiz — which his students fail every year.

But it's the controversial, though constitutional, push into schools that draws the most attention.

In theory, everyone favors children knowing more. The National Education Association handbook says religious instruction "in doctrines and practices belongs at home or religious institutions," while schools should teach world religions' history, heritage, diversity and influence.

Only 8% of public high schools offer an elective Bible course, according to a study in 2005 by the Bible Literacy Project, which promotes academic Bible study in public schools. The project is supported by Freedom Forum's First Amendment Center, a Washington, D.C., non-profit that promotes free speech.

The study surveyed 1,000 high schoolers and found that just 36% know Ramadan is the Islamic holy month; 17% said it was the Jewish day of atonement.

Goff says schools are not wholly to blame for religious illiteracy. "There are simply more groups, more players. Students didn't know Ramadan any better in 1965, but now there are as many Muslims as Jews in America. It's more important to know who's who."

Also today, "there is more emphasis on religious experience as a mark of true religion and less emphasis on doctrine and knowledge of the faith."

Still, it's the widely misunderstood 1963 decision by the U.S. Supreme Court that may have been the tipping point: It removed devotional Bible reading from the schools but spelled out that it should not have been removed from literature and history.

"The decision clearly states you can't be educated without it, but it scared schools so much they dropped it all," Goff says.

"Schools are terrified of this," says Joy Hakim, author of several U.S. history textbooks. She's in her 70s but remembers well as a Jewish child how she felt like an outsider in schools that pushed Christianity in the curriculum.

But she says the backlash went too far. "Now, you can't use biblical characters or narrative in anything. We've stopped teaching stories. We teach facts, and the characters are lost."

Religion, like the arts, has become an afterthought in an education climate driven by "the fixation on literacy and numeracy — math and reading," says Bob Schaeffer of the National Center for Fair & Open Testing, a group critical of the standards-based education movement. "If the ways schools, teachers, principals and superintendents are judged all depend on math and reading scores, that's what you're going to teach," he says.

Still, it's a tough tightrope to walk between those who say the Bible can be just another book, albeit a valuable one, and those who say it is inherently devotional.

The First Amendment Center also published a guide to "The Bible and the Public Schools," which praised a ninth-grade world religions course in Modesto, Calif., and cited a study finding students were able to learn about other faiths without altering their own beliefs. But it also said the class may not be easily replicated and required knowledgeable, unbiased teachers.

Leland Ryken, an English professor at evangelical Wheaton College in Wheaton, Ill., tested a 2006 textbook, The Bible and Its Influence, underwritten by the Bible Literacy Project. Ryken favors adding classes in the Bible and literature and social studies. But he cautions, "Religious literacy and world religions are not the same as the Bible as literature. It's a much more loaded subject, and I really question if high school students can get much knowledge beyond a sense of the importance of religion."

The Bible and Its Influence has been blasted by conservative Christians such as the Rev. John Hagee, pastor of the 18,000-member Cornerstone Church in San Antonio. Hagee calls it "a masterful work of deception, distortion and outright falsehoods" planting "concepts in the minds of children which are contrary to biblical teaching."

Hagee wrote to the Alabama legislature opposing adoption of the text, citing points such as discussion questions that could lead children away from a belief in God. Example: Asking students to ponder if Adam and Eve got "a fair deal as described in Genesis" would plant the seed that "since God is the author of the deal, God is unfair."

Hagee prefers the Bible itself as a textbook for Bible classes, used with a curriculum created by a group of conservative evangelicals, the National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools, based in Greensboro, N.C. The council says its curriculum is being offered in more than 300 schools.

Sheila Weber, a spokeswoman for The Bible Literacy project, says their textbook has been revised in the second printing issued last month with the examples cited by Hagee removed. The teachers' edition was reissued in August. The first printing was approved by numerous Christian scholars and seminaries and is already in use in 82 school districts.

Mark Chancey, professor of religious studies at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, looked last year at how Texas public school districts taught Bible classes. His two studies, sponsored by the Texas Freedom Network, a civil liberties group, found only 25 of more than 1,000 districts offered such a class.

"And 22 of them, including several using the Greensboro group's curriculum, were clearly over the line," teaching Christianity as the norm, and the Bible as inspired by God, says Chancey. One teacher even showed students a proselytizing Power Point titled, "God's road map for your life" that was clearly unconstitutional, he says.

The controversies, costs and competing demands in the schools have prompted many to turn instead to character education.

But classes promoting pluralism and tolerance fail on the religious literacy front because they "reduce religion to morality," Prothero says, or they promote a call for universal compassion as if it were the only value that matters.

"We are not all on the same one path to the same one God," he says. "Religions aren't all saying the same thing. That's presumptuous and wrong. They start with different problems, solve the problems in different ways, and they have different goals."

Contributing: Greg Toppo